I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
