Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you never un-have a 4some
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
