wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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