A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize