Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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