I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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