ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
