Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
