i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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