My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
