Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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