Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I believe in your delicious
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
