U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
