you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
