he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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