she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
