do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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