Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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