Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize