so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Damn victory sex feels great
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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