yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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