Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
