after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
