Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
