Your tits are I can't wait for
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize