The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
