I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
