ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
