Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
