did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
