when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
