i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
