So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
