Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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