Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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