I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize