After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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