I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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