i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
