so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We had to coat check the pizza.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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