I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Couch. On fire.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
