saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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