didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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