Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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