I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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