i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
