I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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