yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Buhtt sex?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
