yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
