My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
