okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
