Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
