apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
