Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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