if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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