so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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