I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
