Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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