I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
