Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Houston, we have a squirter
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
