if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize