Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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