Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
