Do you still have your period?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
