Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
