They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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