So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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